I went with my gut. Ten minutes later
I regretted it. An hour later I really, really regretted it. Twenty
years later, I don't think I'll ever forget it. Thankfully, there's
a happy ending to the story and I didn't end up lying in a gutter.
These days it's a funny story I tell.
The young man on the tram asked me the
time. Then he sat next to me. Then he asked me how many stops it
was until Bell St. I'll tell you when we get there, I said.
He started to pour his heart out about
how lonely he was in Australia. Will you be my friend? He
asked. Soon he was writing down my phone number. I went with my gut.
He seemed friendly and lonely. He decided not to get off the tram at
Bell street. I had two choices of tram stop, both equally close to
home. Thoroughly frightened by now, I got off at the first one. My
new “friend” followed me off the tram.
He started asking increasingly personal
questions. I think by now we can agree, my gut had lied to me.
What felt right had turned out to be wrong. Can I
come home with you? He asked. Over and over. After about the
third or fourth no, he asked rather mournfully, wouldn't
your parents approve? I jumped at the chance.
No, I said, definitely not.
(No my parents, who were far, far away across the water in another
state, would definitely not approve of me taking a complete stranger
to an empty house with none of my house mates home.)
I was infinitely relieved when he gave
up, and I was finally able to walk home without him following me.
Shortly after I got home the phone rang. For me. My new “friend”
asked when he could see me again. Nothing I said seemed to put him
off. At last he told me, You're the only girl in my heart.
If I don't see you again, I will die.
This time I didn't
do what felt right. Fine, I said. And hung up. I never
heard from him again. Probably he was just a foreign student wanting
to marry an Aussie and become a citizen. Or something like that. I
don't know. What I do know is that my gut lied to me.
Go with your gut.
Just do what feels right.
Stay true to yourself.
We hear and see these a lot. They seem
to be the catch-cry everywhere I go. Hidden in those phrases is a
tiny grain of truth. Scientists have shown that our instincts,
fuelled by mirror neurons, can help us make decisions our rational
brains can't explain. If properly trained those instincts can
be lifesavers in emergencies. However, our gut has a dark side.
The Bible sheds light on the whole
truth.
The heart
is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked;
who can know it? (Jeremiah 17:9)
In other words, our instincts are
unreliable and sometimes downright deceptive. How do we know when to
trust our instincts? For a start, nothing that compromises on
God's law or contradicts the Bible is right... Even when it seems
like the only way out of a stick situation. Beyond that, the more we
train our instincts and emotions with truth, the more we get in the
habit of doing the right thing when it's really, really hard, the
more reliable our instincts will become. The Bible says:
But not only that:
The fear
of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the
knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. (Proverbs 9:10)
Had I turned to God for wisdom
before giving away my phone number, I might have been spared a lot of
fear and anxiety.
Everywhere we turn there are catchy
slogans and eye-catching memes, but before we go with our gut, nod
our heads and click the like button, we need to ask ourselves
if they are Truth, or just a little bit of truth mixed in with some
dangerous lies. The truth may not look or feel as good, but it's
always the best option.