"Kids are so resilient." This is the line that seems to go with a divorce. Somehow, kids are meant to rise above the mess that their parents have created, and thrive.
Yes, some do. But what makes us think that just because they get on with life, their hearts haven't been ripped wide open? Is it because they don't say it?
Sometimes, I know, there is genuine cause to end a marriage. My heart bleeds for anyone who can truly say that divorce is the best decision.
Let's be honest about divorce, though. So often it isn't the result of devastating betrayal - it's about two people who have grown apart - who have fallen "out of love".
The love that holds a marriage - and, in fact, a world - together, is far more than a warm and fuzzy feeling - it's a determination to hold on. The love that holds a marriage together is not something you fall into, or out of, it's a decision. It's a decision to give when there's nothing to gain. It's a decision build someone else up, even if you've been torn down. It's also impossibly hard without God in the middle.
Kids are not resilient. The rising number of troubled and depressed children teenagers is proof of their fragility. If you think that depression in children isn't increasing, look it up for yourself. Childhood resilience is another lie to justify the idea that divorce isn't really hurting anybody.
The Bible, the ultimate authority on the human condition, says that God hates divorce, and warns that God will eventually punish societies that allow and even promote the breakdown of the family.
My husband and I are about to celebrate our eleventh wedding anniversary. It definitely hasn't been an easy road to get to this point. We have had to work through serious disagreements and disappointments, but it has been worth all the hard work. We don't know what's around the corner, but we do know that God's intent is for us to stick together, for better or for worse, till death us do part... and that's just what we plan to do.
For more of a Bible-based perspective on divorce and marriage, try watching the Beyond Today program, Before You Divorce.