Today, I'm writing as a tribute to a lady who truly suffered long. Through years of suffering and pain, she considered others and was truly a shining light. In the last weeks of her slow and agonising death, she wrote letters of encouragement and gratitude to many people.
And this is what I have just "gotten" recently - "...love suffers long and is kind..." (I Corinthians 13:4) It's not just the "suffering long", but the kindness at the same time. We live in a world that tends to make heroes of people just because they suffer. We call it courage when someone who is suffering goes on doing the things that they enjoy most. But that's not real courage, it's just common sense. It makes sense to spend lots of time with your family and friends when you're in agony - it will probably (although not for everyone, admittedly) get your mind off the pain.
Agape (remember that word for the love that God is?) is another whole level. It's being kind to people who don't necessarily make you feel good (while suffering). It's being kind to people who are contributing to your suffering (think of Jesus' crucifixion.. remember, God is love, so whatever Jesus did was love).
Agape suffers long and is kind. That means it's relentlessly kind, not just for a day or two, or even a year or two while the world is watching. Agape is kind for twenty years of pain and suffering. Which is what makes Agape so completely different from our human definition of love - it's impossible. And yet, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13). Yes, you and I will stumble in this life, but if we have the power of the Holy Spirit, we can do the impossible - including being kind when we suffer... for a very long time.
Want to understand more about the Holy Spirit and how it can change your life? Try reading The Holy Spirit: God's Power at Work from the free Good News Magazine.
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Monday, July 8, 2013
What Is Love? (More Than Self-Sacrifice)
God is love. That's what the Bible says. But hang on, let's take a step back. When I say "love" I don't mean the warm, fuzzy feeling that you feel towards a good friend you can trust. Nor do I mean the emotional rollercoaster of being "in love". I don't mean the overwhelming protectiveness we feel for our children. I mean something much bigger, wider, and deeper than all of those. I mean something that is outside and beyond feelings. Sometimes good feelings come with the love I'm talking about, but sometimes it feels absolutely rotten because it means giving up what I want for the good of others.
So I'm going to stop calling this thing "love" and call it by it's Greek name "agape". Not because it makes me feel all fancy to be using Greek words, but because it's so important to make a distinction between the love that is God (agape), and the pale human shadow of that Great Love.
So, God is agape. In other words, to fully know agape, we have to fully know God... which we won't in this lifetime, but let's see if we can get a little glimpse of what agape truly means.
In I Corinthians 13 of the Bible there's a whole chapter about love. Early in the chapter it says something really interesting. It goes something like this:
Wow, right. So being really generous or being willing to die for other people isn't (of and by itself) agape.
That means (among other things) that if we sacrifice our comfort and well-being for others, it isn't really love unless it's for their greater good. Too often, we try to please our loved ones (especially children) now - because we want to see them "happy" (and that makes us "happy") - at the expense of their future. It might make my kids "happy" to eat lollies every day of their lives, but, considering the cost to their future health, it's certainly not agape. Agape wants what is best for people, not what will make them feel good (of course, sometimes what makes people feel good is what's best for them, but we can't assume that making people feel good is agape all by itself).
So sacrifice and generosity aren't agape all by themselves. And that is just barely the beginning... More another time.
So I'm going to stop calling this thing "love" and call it by it's Greek name "agape". Not because it makes me feel all fancy to be using Greek words, but because it's so important to make a distinction between the love that is God (agape), and the pale human shadow of that Great Love.
So, God is agape. In other words, to fully know agape, we have to fully know God... which we won't in this lifetime, but let's see if we can get a little glimpse of what agape truly means.
In I Corinthians 13 of the Bible there's a whole chapter about love. Early in the chapter it says something really interesting. It goes something like this:
"Even if I give away all my stuff and am willing to be burned to death, if I don't have agape, I'm nothing."
Wow, right. So being really generous or being willing to die for other people isn't (of and by itself) agape.
That means (among other things) that if we sacrifice our comfort and well-being for others, it isn't really love unless it's for their greater good. Too often, we try to please our loved ones (especially children) now - because we want to see them "happy" (and that makes us "happy") - at the expense of their future. It might make my kids "happy" to eat lollies every day of their lives, but, considering the cost to their future health, it's certainly not agape. Agape wants what is best for people, not what will make them feel good (of course, sometimes what makes people feel good is what's best for them, but we can't assume that making people feel good is agape all by itself).
So sacrifice and generosity aren't agape all by themselves. And that is just barely the beginning... More another time.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Whose Will Be Done?
"Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven..." (Matthew 6:10)This was part of Jesus' instructions to His disciples about how to pray. Many of us say it, one way or another. (The model prayer was just that, a model to help us construct our own prayers - Jesus said "in this manner pray", not "repeat this word-for-word every time you pray" and He also warned against "vain repetition" in prayer.) ...But do we really mean it?
Do we really want God's will to be done, no matter what? ...Or do we assume that what we really, really want must be God's will, because we really, really want it? Are we willing to completely give up the things we think are important because God has something better in mind - even if that something better involves pain, suffering and tragedy throughout our human existence?
Many atheists and agnostics point to the horrible suffering and tragedy in the world as proof that there is no God. We call God our father - yet what loving father would allow his children to die of hunger when he had the power to prevent it?
The difference between God and mere human parents is that He has our Eternal interests at heart. Let me give an example. Yesterday morning, my oldest daughter went outside to find her treasured chicken lying dead with its head bitten off. If I had forseen that this would happen, I would have done everything I could to prevent it. God could have prevented it, but He didn't - not because He doesn't care about small things, but because He knows that there can be an eternal benefit from this small "tragedy" for my daughters or myself. Would I have had the courage to let the chicken have it's head bitten off if I could have prevented it, even knowing it would have some eternal benefit? I think perhaps not. God's will is that all should be saved and He will allow whatever suffering is necessary now to achieve that ultimate end - for all to share in the unimaginable joy of eternal life.
Sometimes I let my children suffer in small ways to help them learn important lessons. But could I bring myself to let one of them make a mistake that would leave them paralysed for the rest of their lives - even if I knew it would make the difference between them choosing Eternal Life and Eternal Death? As incomprehensible as it is to our human minds, the suffering that God allows in the world is proof of His incredible and boundless love for every single one of us. He knows that only tragedy and suffering - the results of us doing things our way - will prove that our way doesn't work... Only then will many finally choose Life.
Faith is not about believing that God will shield us from pain and make things better. Faith is trusting that even the pit of despair has a purpose. Faith is not the belief that God will give us our hearts desire, but that He will teach us to desire what is truly valuable.
Genuinely meaning it when we say "Your will be done" is an enormous step of faith. We are saying to God "I trust Your plans for my life, even if it means realising my worst fears." If we really mean it, "Your will be done" doesn't necessarily mean that the right job will turn up at the right time - it may mean that we are unemployed for life. "Your will be done" doesn't necessarily mean that our pain will stop or our sickness be healed in time - it may mean that we learn to live with increasing pain and incapacity.
God has promised that He will proved our basic physical needs. Jesus said
"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added to you." (Matthew 6:33)All the way back in the book of Dueteronomy in the Old Testament, we read that Moses urged the Israelites to "choose life" (Dueteronomy 30:19). God's will is always for the best in the end - are we ready to choose life? Are we ready to take a step of faith into the great and terrifying unknown and say with conviction "Your will be done"?
Friday, January 27, 2012
Kids Are Not Resilient
"Kids are so resilient." This is the line that seems to go with a divorce. Somehow, kids are meant to rise above the mess that their parents have created, and thrive.
Yes, some do. But what makes us think that just because they get on with life, their hearts haven't been ripped wide open? Is it because they don't say it?
Sometimes, I know, there is genuine cause to end a marriage. My heart bleeds for anyone who can truly say that divorce is the best decision.
Let's be honest about divorce, though. So often it isn't the result of devastating betrayal - it's about two people who have grown apart - who have fallen "out of love".
The love that holds a marriage - and, in fact, a world - together, is far more than a warm and fuzzy feeling - it's a determination to hold on. The love that holds a marriage together is not something you fall into, or out of, it's a decision. It's a decision to give when there's nothing to gain. It's a decision build someone else up, even if you've been torn down. It's also impossibly hard without God in the middle.
Kids are not resilient. The rising number of troubled and depressed children teenagers is proof of their fragility. If you think that depression in children isn't increasing, look it up for yourself. Childhood resilience is another lie to justify the idea that divorce isn't really hurting anybody.
The Bible, the ultimate authority on the human condition, says that God hates divorce, and warns that God will eventually punish societies that allow and even promote the breakdown of the family.
My husband and I are about to celebrate our eleventh wedding anniversary. It definitely hasn't been an easy road to get to this point. We have had to work through serious disagreements and disappointments, but it has been worth all the hard work. We don't know what's around the corner, but we do know that God's intent is for us to stick together, for better or for worse, till death us do part... and that's just what we plan to do.
For more of a Bible-based perspective on divorce and marriage, try watching the Beyond Today program, Before You Divorce.
Yes, some do. But what makes us think that just because they get on with life, their hearts haven't been ripped wide open? Is it because they don't say it?
Sometimes, I know, there is genuine cause to end a marriage. My heart bleeds for anyone who can truly say that divorce is the best decision.
Let's be honest about divorce, though. So often it isn't the result of devastating betrayal - it's about two people who have grown apart - who have fallen "out of love".
The love that holds a marriage - and, in fact, a world - together, is far more than a warm and fuzzy feeling - it's a determination to hold on. The love that holds a marriage together is not something you fall into, or out of, it's a decision. It's a decision to give when there's nothing to gain. It's a decision build someone else up, even if you've been torn down. It's also impossibly hard without God in the middle.
Kids are not resilient. The rising number of troubled and depressed children teenagers is proof of their fragility. If you think that depression in children isn't increasing, look it up for yourself. Childhood resilience is another lie to justify the idea that divorce isn't really hurting anybody.
The Bible, the ultimate authority on the human condition, says that God hates divorce, and warns that God will eventually punish societies that allow and even promote the breakdown of the family.
My husband and I are about to celebrate our eleventh wedding anniversary. It definitely hasn't been an easy road to get to this point. We have had to work through serious disagreements and disappointments, but it has been worth all the hard work. We don't know what's around the corner, but we do know that God's intent is for us to stick together, for better or for worse, till death us do part... and that's just what we plan to do.
For more of a Bible-based perspective on divorce and marriage, try watching the Beyond Today program, Before You Divorce.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Love Grows Cold
Did you hear in the news about the eight-year-old girl who died after being alone in the desert with a known, convicted pedophile?
I am shocked, horrified, and furious when I think about it. I feel like my heart is being ripped in two. If it would help, I would cry a river for that poor little girl, undefended and alone. But my tears are not enough. This story should - as should every story of another child abused or neglected - bring our entire nation to its knees in grief and remorse. But see, the cricket and the tennis are on right now. Our Australian sporting "heroes" are more "interesting" than unnamed eight-year-old little girls.
How is it that, as a nation, our love has grown so cold for others that we hide behind the wimpy excuse of "cultural differences" in refusing to interfere when children are treated like cattle? Why is it morally acceptable to us to allow "other cultures" to systematically oppress women and children?
Let's be warned as a country that our rejection of all moral absolutes is making us repugnant to God. When we refuse to defend the helpless in our midst from exploitation and annihilation - when we systematically obliterate the basic rights of the unborn, the disabled, the disadvantaged and the elderly, then we become a stench in God's nostrils. Huge sections of the Bible are devoted to warning us of the consequences of such behaviour.
We have already set the timebomb for our own destruction. The only way to stop it is to turn whole-heartedly and humbly to God.
To hear about what the Bible says about calling evil good, try watching the Beyond Today TV program, Calling Evil Good.
I am shocked, horrified, and furious when I think about it. I feel like my heart is being ripped in two. If it would help, I would cry a river for that poor little girl, undefended and alone. But my tears are not enough. This story should - as should every story of another child abused or neglected - bring our entire nation to its knees in grief and remorse. But see, the cricket and the tennis are on right now. Our Australian sporting "heroes" are more "interesting" than unnamed eight-year-old little girls.
How is it that, as a nation, our love has grown so cold for others that we hide behind the wimpy excuse of "cultural differences" in refusing to interfere when children are treated like cattle? Why is it morally acceptable to us to allow "other cultures" to systematically oppress women and children?
Let's be warned as a country that our rejection of all moral absolutes is making us repugnant to God. When we refuse to defend the helpless in our midst from exploitation and annihilation - when we systematically obliterate the basic rights of the unborn, the disabled, the disadvantaged and the elderly, then we become a stench in God's nostrils. Huge sections of the Bible are devoted to warning us of the consequences of such behaviour.
We have already set the timebomb for our own destruction. The only way to stop it is to turn whole-heartedly and humbly to God.
To hear about what the Bible says about calling evil good, try watching the Beyond Today TV program, Calling Evil Good.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
By This Shall All Men Know
During our Passover service earlier this year, I was really struck by Jesus' statement "by this shall all men know that you are My disciples, if you love one another".
Really? That's how the world will recognise the disciples of Jesus? Not by speaking in tongues, or miraculous healing, or charismatic preaching?
More recently I heard a minister explain it this way: the proof of God's Spirit working in us is in the fruit (found in Galatians 5:22) we bear, not in the gifts (listed in I Corinths 12:1-11) we receive.
Love (which is explained in I Corinthians 13) is the very first fruit of the Spirit mentioned in Galatians 5:22. Healing and speaking in tongues are gifts of the Spirit found in I Corinthians 12.
The love talked about by the Apostle Paul in I Corinthians 13 is far beyond a warm and fuzzy feeling. In fact, he told us that we could even "give our body to be burned", and yet NOT have true Godly love.
Real, Godly love
Jesus Christ never said anything that He didn't mean. Read the words above carefully - real love is hard. The question is, are we willing to make the sacrifice to become Jesus' followers? Are we willing to really love one another?
Really? That's how the world will recognise the disciples of Jesus? Not by speaking in tongues, or miraculous healing, or charismatic preaching?
More recently I heard a minister explain it this way: the proof of God's Spirit working in us is in the fruit (found in Galatians 5:22) we bear, not in the gifts (listed in I Corinths 12:1-11) we receive.
Love (which is explained in I Corinthians 13) is the very first fruit of the Spirit mentioned in Galatians 5:22. Healing and speaking in tongues are gifts of the Spirit found in I Corinthians 12.
The love talked about by the Apostle Paul in I Corinthians 13 is far beyond a warm and fuzzy feeling. In fact, he told us that we could even "give our body to be burned", and yet NOT have true Godly love.
Real, Godly love
"suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away."
Jesus Christ never said anything that He didn't mean. Read the words above carefully - real love is hard. The question is, are we willing to make the sacrifice to become Jesus' followers? Are we willing to really love one another?
Sunday, September 11, 2011
What Is Wrong Here?
A few months ago, a couple of news items caught my attention. One day I heard about the tragic death of a little boy hit by a train when he was playing on the railway tracks. The next day I heard that onlookers had rushed to the rescue of a swan being attacked by teenagers. The swan later died.
I am still overwhelmed with pain for the family of the young boy when I think about these two stories. People rushed to the rescue of the swan, but while witnesses had seen the child alone by the railway line, no one rushed to rescue the child. Some might argue that these events were sensationalised by the media and the news didn't tell the full story, but I have twice seen a frantic parent looking for a lost child and no one else helped - even though there were plenty of people around.
Truthfully, I am sickened and disgusted by this society that values an animal (with no thoughts or true feelings - values it so much that people will risk their own safety to protect it) above a human child created in the image of God. I am shocked that someone else's child in mortal danger is seen as none of our business. Shame on us!
If we keep on rejecting God's values and replacing them with our own, we will pay a terrible price in time. Just yesterday I read what that price will be in chapter 28 of the book of Dueteronomy in the Bible.
God put many laws in place to protect the weak and helpless. These were all part of the "golden rule" explained by Jesus Christ: "Love your neighbour as yourself" (and He then went on to explain through a parable that "neighbour" means everyone). I know what I would want others to do if they found my kid playing alone next to a train track - would I do the same?
We have a simple choice to make: will we start to live the give way, day by day; or will we insist that God prove His existence by pouring out the curses of Dueternomy 28 on us? Even now, the clock is ticking.
I am still overwhelmed with pain for the family of the young boy when I think about these two stories. People rushed to the rescue of the swan, but while witnesses had seen the child alone by the railway line, no one rushed to rescue the child. Some might argue that these events were sensationalised by the media and the news didn't tell the full story, but I have twice seen a frantic parent looking for a lost child and no one else helped - even though there were plenty of people around.
Truthfully, I am sickened and disgusted by this society that values an animal (with no thoughts or true feelings - values it so much that people will risk their own safety to protect it) above a human child created in the image of God. I am shocked that someone else's child in mortal danger is seen as none of our business. Shame on us!
If we keep on rejecting God's values and replacing them with our own, we will pay a terrible price in time. Just yesterday I read what that price will be in chapter 28 of the book of Dueteronomy in the Bible.
God put many laws in place to protect the weak and helpless. These were all part of the "golden rule" explained by Jesus Christ: "Love your neighbour as yourself" (and He then went on to explain through a parable that "neighbour" means everyone). I know what I would want others to do if they found my kid playing alone next to a train track - would I do the same?
We have a simple choice to make: will we start to live the give way, day by day; or will we insist that God prove His existence by pouring out the curses of Dueternomy 28 on us? Even now, the clock is ticking.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
What Really Matters?
Life. It's so short. So how do we live every bit of it? What really matters in life? Does how we live reflect what we say really matters?
If you knew you were going to die tomorrow, how would you spend today? Would you tell your loved ones that you love them? ... Now think ahead a few months or years on - how would your loved ones look back on your last words to them. Would they be a reminder of your lifelong concern for them? Would your words of love bring to mind how well you had treated them and how you had looked out for the best interests of others? Or would they be a bitter disappointment - a memory of words that were never turned into action?
There are lots of warm and fuzzy emails out there that encourage us to say "I love you" to the people that matter to us. Those words by themselves have very little value. In fact, the words "I love you" can be painful - even traumatic - when they give the lie to the actions of those who say them.
Jesus told His followers: "Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." Even the most ardent atheist would be hard-pressed to argue with the truth of that statement. Whether your treasure is time, money or other physical, mental or emotional resources, wherever you put that treasure is where your "heart" truly lies.
So what really matters to you? It's a question I have to keep asking myself. When I look truthfully at the answer it helps bring me back to the rocky and difficult path that leads to Eternal Life.
Where are you putting your treasure? Are your time and money being spent on the things that you say really matter? Are your relationships getting the attention they deserve from you? Are you willing to do the hard things for the people you say that you love?
A workmate once told me that she didn't really respect her Dad. "He let me get away with anything," she said. Sadly, his failure to put in the hard work of being a real father had broken their relationship.
Before you launch into your next project or passion, take a moment to think about whether it is really part of the legacy you want to leave behind - are you investing your treasure into some that really matters?
Putting God into the centre of your life is the only way to truly understand what really matters. As a starting point, try watching How Big Is Your God? on Beyond Today TV.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Why Is It So Hard To Really Love My Kids?
In that afterbirth glow, I felt like I would do anything for my kids. Even while I was pregnant, I was prepared to move mountains for them. Well, sort of.
Why is it so hard to really love my kids? I'm talking about hard like threading a camel through the eye of a needle. Like picking up a mountain and planting it in the sea. Really hard.
Sure, I serve them first at dinner time... That way I can enjoy my meal in peace. Sure I hug them lots - that gives me a warm glow that makes me feel good. Sure I feed them healthy food... because healthy kids are happier kids. None of that means that I really, truly love them.
See (I actually do know the answer), true love is too hard for normal people. We are able to give something that looks a lot like love, but in the bible there's this word for love in Greek: Agape. It means pure, self-sacrificing love that seeks nothing in return. Just a few days ago we observed Passover, a memorial to Jesus Christ dying a horrible death because of His love - Agape - for mankind. The bible tells us that God IS Agape.
It's so hard to really love my kids because on my own I'm incapable of Agape love. The love that our kids need is more than a warm and fuzzy glow. If real love were easy, then I wouldn't have eaten so much chocolate while I was pregnant. If real love were easy, then supermarkets would sell a lot less lollies. If real love were easy, then I wouldn't yell at my kids just because I'm frustrated. If real love were easy, then I wouldn't pretend not to see my kids being naughty (because dealing with it is hard work for me). If real love were easy then... well, you fill in the blank - we all have ways we let our kids (and others) down because real love is humanly impossible.
But there's hope! Firstly, God loves my kids more than I can ever even imagine. He also loves me. And if I turn to Him and try to obey Him, God will put His love in me. Still hard work, but no longer impossible. With God all things are possible - things like threading a camel through the eye of a needle.
To read about God's plan for your family, take a look at Marriage and Family: The Missing Dimension
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)