Rights or Responsibilities?

As a parent, I sometimes hear other parents say things like: "It's my right to raise my children whatever way I see fit." Or "no one has the right to tell me how to raise my kids."

Hmmm.  If I put myself in the children's shoes, I find these statements disturbing.  Really?  Do I have the right to fill "my" children up with several litres of coke per day?  Do I have the right to drag "my" sick children through the shopping centres with me because I need to do things for myself?  Do I have the right to farm "my" children out to the maximum possible of extracurricular activities until they are ready to keel over from exhaustion?  Do I have the right to scream at "my" children or refuse to talk to them because I am overwhelmed by life?

Legally, probably yes.  I've never heard of children being removed from their parents for any of the above reasons.

But what makes them "my" children anyway?  Do I own them as I do my car?  Did I earn the right to them as I did my driver's license?  Are they really "mine" to do with as I will?  Short of physical or emotional abuse, by law I guess I could say they are "my" children... But what can we expect for the future of our country and our world if we see children as objects that we own?

Isn't being a parent more about our responsibility than our rights?  God certainly says so.

Unfortunately, the only bit about parenting that some people read in the Bible is: "children, obey your parents" or "honour your father and mother".  But there are a lot of instructions to parents.  And a lot of instructions about life and love that apply as much to parents as to anyone else.  Unfortunately, instructions like:

He who spares his rod hates his son,
But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.

are sometimes read as a license to beat our children, but notice the mention of love.  The point is that if we love our children, we will take responsibility to teach them what is right.  That may involve inflicting temporary pain, but true love (see 1 Corinthians 13 for an explanation of love) would never, ever allow us to injure our children.  If we love our children, we will be concerned about our responsibilties, not our rights.  Nowhere does the Bible tell us that we own our children to do with them as we will - including before birth.  

The Bible speaks of God's fury when children were passed through fire. (2 Kings 16:3; 2 Kings 17:31; 2 Chronicles 28:3; Ezekiel 16:21)  Such a practice seems barbaric today... and yet how many children are "passed through the fire" when they are sent out into a hostile world ill-equipped and unprepared for coping where they are not welcomed, but seen as a burden?  How many unborn children are "passed through the fire" because their existence is seen as being in some way "inconvenient" due to financial strain or career pressures, or disability.


Find me a  place where the Bible speaks about our rights as parents.  I haven't found one.


However, I have found this after a summary of God's commandments in Deuteronomy 6:6-7:

And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.

God's way - the only way to true happiness and fullfilment - is a way of give.  As parents, our mission is to give to our children in a way that will prepare and equip them for that hostile world we will eventually throw them out into.  That's a tough love to give - it doesn't mean giving what they want, but what they need.  There is no easy way - you need try it only for a few days to know that with all of your being.

None of us are perfect - we will all make mistakes and let our children down.  I know that I do, and it's been really hard for me to swallow my pride and say "sorry" to my kids on those many occasions when I've been overcome by my own humanity.  But that's no excuse to give up and stop trying.


As parents, we have no "rights", only the responsibility to nurture our children and teach them what is Right - God's way.


If you are interested in what God has to say about parenting and marriage, you may be interested in the free booklet, Marriage and Family: The Missing Dimension.

A Carbon Tax Solution?

Very soon, we'll be taxed for carbon dioxide in Australia.  Let's call it what it really is - a selfish tax.  The government has decided that the way to stop Australians from producing too much carbon dioxide and thus destroying the planet, is to make everyone pay for it.

Perhaps, amidst moans and groans, we will start being a little more "environmentally friendly", but history has shown over and over that making people pay for selfishness doesn't stop them from being selfish.

There are laws against drug dealing, and hefty penalties for anyone who gets caught selling drugs - but dealers keep on dealing.  Most countries have laws against selling or mistreating children, and those who get caught can pay a very high price... but children are still bought and sold and abused the world over.

There are many other examples, but the point is, no law or tax will truly change anyone at heart.  As long as our hearts and minds are directed towards self-gratification, humanity will continue to destroy the planet and it's people.

I'm not interested in the politics of a carbon tax or arguing about one party being better than the other.  Recent sessions of parliament question time have shown that all politicians are driven by self interest, not the national interest.  And that's true because the majority of Australians voted out of self interest, not the national interest.

The carbon tax cannot be a real solution for any of the nation's - or the world's - problems because it misses the core of every problem we have.  Every problem we have comes from the belief that we don't need God.  The belief that humanity alone can create a world that works.

The truth is, the way that seems right to us ends in death.  No law or tax or treaty or plan or resolution or government can replace God.  The world will eventually learn that the hard way, but thankfully that won't be the end of the story.

To learn about how God plans to ultimately give all humanity the chance to turn to Him, trying watching the weekly Beyond Today program, now showing in Australia, on Sunday mornings on Channel 4ME - Digital 74 Metro, Digital 64 Regional at the following times: 6:30 AM (NSW, VIC, ACT); 6:00 AM (SA); 6:30 AM (QLD); 4:30 AM (WA). Or you can watch past episodes or Beyond Today Daily online at Beyond Today TV.

He Wasn't Speaking For Me

I just watched a recording of Q&A on the ABC with the Catholic cardinal George Pell and well-known atheist Richard Dawkins. I had read the comment that George Pell would be speaking for all Christians, not just catholics.

Well. George Pell wasn't speaking for me. I don't believe in a "christianity" that regards Greek philosophy above the Bible. I don't believe in a "christianity" that struggles to come to grips with the most basic truths about God such as why He allows suffering. And I certainly don't believe in a "christianity" that depends more on human reason to explain itself than it does on what the Bible actually says.

What's in a Name?

It's that time of year. My kids are offered easter eggs wherever we go. I have to ask - what do chocolate and eggs and buns and bunnies have to do with Jesus? What do they have to do with death or resurrection?

I grew up with the conviction that Easter has pagan origins. Recently, I have read an argument that suggests the word "Easter" actually had Christian origins. Maybe...

BUT, even someone with no knowledge of history can ask the question - what do chocolate and eggs and buns and bunnies have to do with Jesus? And, in fact, what do Friday and Sunday have to do with Jesus? Friday night to Sunday morning isn't three days and three nights however you carve it up. Seriously, just try it. If you read the Biblical account of Jesus death and resurrection you will find He died just before a Sabbath, yes, but not a weekly Sabbath - he died just before the High Sabbath at the beginning of the Days of Unleavened Bread (see Leviticus 23 for more about these days).

Jesus told His disciples to observe the Passover evening (what many refer to as the Last Supper) as a memorial (a memorial is to be observed once a year, not once a week) to Him (see Matthew 26, Mark 14, Luke 22 and John 13). So why Easter? The symbols that Jesus instituted were the (unleavened) bread and wine and foot washing, not eggs, bunnies and buns.

How does the self-indulgence of eating chocolate and cakes represent Jesus Christ's spirit of self-sacrifice? How does telling children (untrue) stories about Easter bunnies represent the Jesus who said: "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life" (John 14:6)? Can these symbols possibly honour Jesus' sacrifice and resurrection?

I have often heard it said that anything can be used to God's glory. Really? Would any of us be happy to see a church decorated in swastikas (that had somehow been converted to a "Christian" symbol)?

The Bible does not command, or even suggest many of the symbols and traditions that have come to be associated with Easter. Why would we want to substitute human traditions for what Jesus did command ("...do this in remembrance of me...")?

For a more complete discussion on Easter and the festivals that God commanded, try watching The Easter Charade, Which Passover Should You Observe? and God's Holy Day Plan: Blueprint for Salvation on Beyond Today TV.

Whose Will Be Done?

"Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven..." (Matthew 6:10)

This was part of Jesus' instructions to His disciples about how to pray. Many of us say it, one way or another. (The model prayer was just that, a model to help us construct our own prayers - Jesus said "in this manner pray", not "repeat this word-for-word every time you pray" and He also warned against "vain repetition" in prayer.) ...But do we really mean it?

Do we really want God's will to be done, no matter what? ...Or do we assume that what we really, really want must be God's will, because we really, really want it? Are we willing to completely give up the things we think are important because God has something better in mind - even if that something better involves pain, suffering and tragedy throughout our human existence?

Many atheists and agnostics point to the horrible suffering and tragedy in the world as proof that there is no God. We call God our father - yet what loving father would allow his children to die of hunger when he had the power to prevent it?

The difference between God and mere human parents is that He has our Eternal interests at heart. Let me give an example. Yesterday morning, my oldest daughter went outside to find her treasured chicken lying dead with its head bitten off. If I had forseen that this would happen, I would have done everything I could to prevent it. God could have prevented it, but He didn't - not because He doesn't care about small things, but because He knows that there can be an eternal benefit from this small "tragedy" for my daughters or myself. Would I have had the courage to let the chicken have it's head bitten off if I could have prevented it, even knowing it would have some eternal benefit? I think perhaps not. God's will is that all should be saved and He will allow whatever suffering is necessary now to achieve that ultimate end - for all to share in the unimaginable joy of eternal life.

Sometimes I let my children suffer in small ways to help them learn important lessons. But could I bring myself to let one of them make a mistake that would leave them paralysed for the rest of their lives - even if I knew it would make the difference between them choosing Eternal Life and Eternal Death? As incomprehensible as it is to our human minds, the suffering that God allows in the world is proof of His incredible and boundless love for every single one of us. He knows that only tragedy and suffering - the results of us doing things our way - will prove that our way doesn't work... Only then will many finally choose Life.

Faith is not about believing that God will shield us from pain and make things better. Faith is trusting that even the pit of despair has a purpose. Faith is not the belief that God will give us our hearts desire, but that He will teach us to desire what is truly valuable.

Genuinely meaning it when we say "Your will be done" is an enormous step of faith. We are saying to God "I trust Your plans for my life, even if it means realising my worst fears." If we really mean it, "Your will be done" doesn't necessarily mean that the right job will turn up at the right time - it may mean that we are unemployed for life. "Your will be done" doesn't necessarily mean that our pain will stop or our sickness be healed in time - it may mean that we learn to live with increasing pain and incapacity.

God has promised that He will proved our basic physical needs. Jesus said

"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added to you." (Matthew 6:33)

All the way back in the book of Dueteronomy in the Old Testament, we read that Moses urged the Israelites to "choose life" (Dueteronomy 30:19). God's will is always for the best in the end - are we ready to choose life? Are we ready to take a step of faith into the great and terrifying unknown and say with conviction "Your will be done"?

Are You A Person?

In an article published in the Journal of Medical Ethics last month two Melbourne Scientists argued that "the newborn and the fetus are morally equivalent". They are right - a baby doesn't suddenly become a person at the moment of birth. However, they proposed that a newborn is not yet a person, but merely a "potential person".

The title of the article: "After-birth abortion: why should the baby live?" And so the false boundaries that humanity creates keep getting blurred. After all, if a baby can be legally killed moments before birth, why not moments after? And if it is acceptable to kill a child moments after birth, why not days, or weeks or months after? And if it is ethical to kill a baby, why not a child with an acquired brain injury, or an adult no longer able to care for themselves?

If we accept the idea of evolution, then we accept the idea that the value of a human being comes from their physical composition. If that physical composition is flawed and the person "broken", then why should they not be disposed of (if that's what you believe)?

I don't accept evolution and I don't believe that any human being has the right to determine when another human being should die, regardless of suffering. The wonderful thing about the boundaries that God sets is that they are clear and unchanging. There are no fuzzy lines. Any confusion comes from human beings trying to reason away the ten simple rules that God has given us to live by.

So what do you believe in? A world where a baby is not an "actual person" (but an animal may be considered an "actual person")? A world where the most vulnerable of all human beings have "no moral right to life"? A world where scientists philosophize away the basic value of a human being (unless they are "capable of making any aims" according to the scientists' judgement)?

Or do you believe that a person is something beyond the mere physical? Do you believe that we have a purpose?

Unless we accept God as our Creator, the definition of an "actual person" is sure to get more and more fuzzy. Each step we take away from God is another step into a morality minefield. Few of us are likely to come out the other end alive.

When God Says No

Our family have experienced disappointment in the last few days. A church family camp was cancelled due to bad weather. Our girls were anticipating seeing their friends and camping on a farm for weeks. Has God let our kids down?

We can make the mistake of believing that what we want is God's will. Jesus told His disciples to pray: "Your will be done", but do we really mean it? It's easy to treat God like a sideshow magician and expect Him to pull a rabbit out of His hat on request. We can forget that God sees around corners and knows that what we want is not always for the best.

Why did God say "no" to the camp this weekend? I don't know - but that doesn't mean He doesn't have a good reason. Sometimes when God says "no" we are left devastated. A father we knew in our church died several years ago in his mid-forties, leaving behind a wife and teenage children. Not for want of prayers.

When I was just four or five, a little girl in our church who was just a little older than me died of cancer. Again, not for want of prayers on her behalf. Why? Again, I don't know, but God sees around every bend in the road ahead and He knew and knows that He allowed these tragedies for the best.... in the end.

An atheist or agnostic might use these situations as proof that life is not planned or designed, but simply a huge cosmic mistake. However, we have also seen incredible personal examples of God saying "yes". My husband was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor when he was nine. He lives. When the wife of that father I mentioned was pregnant, the baby was diagnosed in the womb with a terminal condition. There was no mistaking on the ultrasound that her brain was the wrong shape. She lives.

What we want does not necessarily equal God's will. Sometimes, in fact, when we get what we want, it's not God's will. The huge wad of cash that your father's best friend's cousin prayed to Mary for and won at the races - that's not from God. Revenge on an ex-husband in the guise of the ex being denied all visitation rights for the children (despite being a caring father) - that's not from God.

Faith is accepting that sometimes God will say "no" and we may never know why. Faith is trusting in the midst of disaster and disappointment that the God who allowed the raging floodwaters to sweep through our home still loves us.

This can be an incredibly hard truth to come to terms with. We can be so sure that what we want should be God's will. How could the loss of a baby, a friend, a home, a business... be God's will for our lives? We don't have to know. God has made an astounding promise that can provide comfort in even the darkest of times (and comfort doesn't mean that the pain and grief just go away - it means that God holds our hand through and within the tempest and never lets go unless we tell Him to):

And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away. (Revelation 21:4)

Now that is a promise we can hang our hats on.

You may be interested in reading What Happens After Death? or listening to the sermon Learning to Trust God.